“Romancing the Shadow: A Guide to Soul Work for a Vital, Authentic Life”
Connie Zweig & Steven Wolf
Wellspring/Ballantine, 1999. Reprint edition (February 2, 1999)
ISBN 0345417402, 978-0345417404
Hardback/Paperback/CD. 348 pages.
Perspective: Jung, Relationship, Personal growth, Psychology
“Jung . . . . what we do not express [from our shadow] . . . . will be expressed in the lives of our children and grandchildren”
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If 'Meeting the Shadow' is more about encountering our own shadow / inner selves, than this book is more about meeting the shadow (self and other) in our relationships. For many years (especially in my youth) I wondered why relationships didn't always work, and could cause so much suffering and heart-break. Haven't we all wondered about this? Truisms like 'relationships are not to make us happy, but act as a mirror to learn from, especially about ourselves', although quite valid, may not help much, certainly on the emotional level.
For it is in relationships that I encountered my shadow most directly. For how could it be otherwise? And yes, this is perhaps their greatest value. A bit of a controversial thing to say, and yes, forgive me, I do not mean that anyone should remain in an abusive relationship. There are definitely times to quit. And it can be wonderful and very healing also sometimes not to be in a relationship (at least until the next time . . . ) I think the point I'm trying to make here (and perhaps this book does too) is that insight, self-observation, honesty and self-reflection have tremendous value. And perhaps some kind of inner development, or spiritual path (if we are not just deceiving ourselves) or spiritual or mindfulness practice can also be helpful and life changing.